The Essential Travel Guide

Guys, I’m going to New York this week.  I’m stoked.  I’ve never been.  It’s going to be beautiful.  And, for all of you travelers out there, I’ve compiled a nice and tidy packing guideline.

How my boyfriend packs for trips:

  1. “I’m heading home now to pack.”
  2. “It’s 9:30. Your flight’s at 12???”
  3. “Yeah but I got my bag out.  It’s open on my bed.”

How I pack for trips:

  1. Turn on Netflix.
  2. Pour wine.
  3. Drink wine. Watch Netflix.  Put one tee shirt into bag. 
  4. Put five pairs of heels into bag.  
  5. Take out one don’t be greedy. 
  6. Five pairs of jeans for four days. 
  7. Drink more wine.
  8. Six pairs of jeans for four days. 
  9. Man I’m tired time to rest and watch more Netflix. 
  10. Look at bag.  You know what?  I don’t know if this will look good. *try on eight outfits* Dayum I’m classy af. 
  11. Pull out sequined business style jacket..  Perfect. 
  12. Nope, put that back are you on crack?
  13. Play with doggo. 
  14. Next episode in 5, 4, 3, 2…
  15. Fedora?
  16. Okay JT calm down.
  17. Refill wine. Close suitcase. 
  18. Open suitcase as an afterthought. Cram in every piece of lingerie I own because things are getting sexxxxy in here. 
  19. Lolz let’s be honest put that shit back.
  20. More wine.
  21. Check weather. Oh, it’s going to be hot?? Daisy dukes!!!
  22. Literally it’s almost winter I haven’t shaved my legs in two weeks back in the bottom drawer you go sweet sweet babies. 
  23. Find that old bottle of perfume you’ve used two times in your life.  Marinate in it for a moment, then shove it into the front pocket.  Pray it doesn’t leak.
  24. Put in one more tee shirt.  Then put in doggo.  Then drink more wine.  
  25. All packed!! 👌🏼

20 thoughts on “The Essential Travel Guide

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