older

Life is different—both too slow and too fast. Too slow, I am not quick enough to butter toast while it’s still hot or catch him when he falls from that one step before the fireplace. Fast is just a word for how time steals him from me. It steals him in his sleep—a new boy …

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Bruised Roses

I loved him already.  Sitting in front of my grandmother’s old house, a new family in the window.  I steal a rose from their front porch.  They were hers—the roses.  They could live there for a hundred years and still the roses would be hers.  And mine.  And his.  I press the rose up to …

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A Poem for America

When do you reject the child?When she is born, her dark hair spiralingFirst cries brimming out into a hazy, too-bright roomOr when she is messy with her mourningIn a body that’s no longer hersCrippled in the hands of someone that she thought she loved. When do you reject the child?When she is knocking at your …

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Be Still

Softer now—my heart and how it melts and pools inside my chest.  That’s what happens when you have a child, they say.  But still I feed the fear both in my sleep and in my waking hours.  Someone is always next. I cradle my sweet boy.  The men inside my family all of them always …

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A Mother

I am selfish with him—Behind a locked white door in bed we lie, never leavingThe world wants himWhile I am scrambling for time. Split halfway in two when he emergedMy body stitched together, much of me left pooling on a white tiled floorLabor of the body and of loveBlue lips and knotted cord—Is he breathing?I …

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Hourglass.

There’s not much literary inspiration in caring for my grandmother.  There is a lot of sadness—a lot of bittersweet hanging like cobwebs from the ceiling.  A lot of soaking up a final moment, and yet still thinking you’ll have many more to come.  But after a few months, we are now down to our last …

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The House Finch

There was a pair of house finches building a small nest outside our window. I’d watch them weave it all together—the female, with her muted brown feathers, working relentlessly on her art. The twigs meticulously placed, one over the next—how they intertwined with one another. The male, with his bright cherry red head and breast, …

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On a Hot Tin Roof

It’s taken me now just about a month to come up with words to express my feelings of our time. I’ve thought about it a lot—nearly endlessly, to be honest. The words I would normally write feel cheap—because it hasn’t really gotten better, certainly not for many of us. And it might not get better …

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